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Facing Fear, One Move At A Time


Do you ever wonder what life would be like somewhere else? Do you ever crave adventure?  Or perhaps you live your life to the fullest and feel completely content.   As for me, I regularly have these thoughts racing through my mind.  I'm the type of person who meets someone with an accent; and suddenly, I think I have one too.  Or when I travel, I pretend I've been living there my entire life.  I crave adventure; I enjoy imagining and recreating situations.  Interesting fact about myself, I grew up on the east coast my whole life, went to a college that was only 90 minutes away from home, and now I'm currently raising two beautiful hapa girls in New York City.    


For a while now I've been playing with the idea of uprooting my family and fleeing to sunny California. It's not entirely a crazy idea since my husband grew up there and has native pride. However, little does he know, he's more of an east coast guy since he's been here for over 20 years.  Joke's on him, right?!?


We've had many late night talks, and arguably some were heated, about where to raise our family.  Do we stay in New York City or do we try the suburbs of California?  We made pie charts, list of pros and cons, and even went as far as flipping a coin, best 2 out of 3.

Our journey began in NYC, however, when I was 6 months pregnant and my husband lost his job during the financial crisis.  He had an opportunity to work in CA or NY, but we decided to stay in NYC because I merely wanted my family close by.  My family means the world to me so the thought of starting motherhood without my mother by my side sounded dreadful.  We were happy raising our first child here, then came baby number 2.  I had this vision of having a white picket fence with a big backyard.  We ended up closing on a house way out in the suburbs while I was 8 months pregnant.  We grew as a family, we learned more, and realized that spending more time together outweighed having that white picket fence and oh so much space.  We decided to go back to the concrete jungle.


During our time in NY, we often took week-long vacations to California.  Each time we would visit family and friends, and while we were enjoying the ocean breeze, my husband and I would look at each other and say, "Wouldn't this be nice?".  Somehow we convinced ourselves, that we would entertain that thought next year because our life in NY was great.  We have friends, financial security, family, great schools and the list goes on.  But why did we keep going back to "Wouldn't it be nice".  At some point in my life, I knew I wanted to experience the west coast and I knew my husband was always game for it.  He wants to have the opportunity AGAIN to spend even more time with his family (note: he will be working east coast time). So yes, after all of that we have decided to follow the title of a book I had just read, "Face Your Fear, Do it Anyway".  By the way, it was a tremendous help to took look at life differently, I highly recommend it.  Finally, I'm open to facing my fears, one move at a time.  This will be a great opportunity for our nuclear family to bond together, be vulnerable together, and to experience a new adventure together. 


There will be hardships and many tears shed, but truth be told, we will all rise from the challenge to grow ever stronger.  We'll need to make new friends, navigate a new culture, and see what life is like on the left side.  If you are looking for a new friend, please email me!  We are open for business.  I'm excited to write our story of how life can be and not what society expects it to be. I’m so grateful to have a partner in crime who is always up for my craziness and wants to live our best life, even if it means shuffling our cards around. 


Hopping off...


"If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move.  As far as you can.  Across the ocean, or simply across the river.  Walk in someone's else's shoes or at least eat their food.  It's a plus for everybody." -- Anthony Bourdain.



© 2018 by Hapa Girls NYC.

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